And If They Don’t Want Help?
What do you do when “He/she doesn’t want help”?
Do you stand by and watch drugs suck the life out of someone you love?
Do you wait til they hit rock bottom?
Do you force them? Can you force them?
Everyday families struggle with these kinds of questions when someone they care about is addicted. They often feel guilty personally wondering how did this happen, what did they do wrong. They are being manipulated by the addict to feel sorry for them, help them out, they are trying to change, etc. Often, the advice they are given is they have to wait until the addict wants treatment, that they will hit rock bottom, etc.
Well the trouble with the above is by the time they hit “rock bottom” or make a logical decision like “I should get help” it is because life has intervened. This intervention could be a loss of job, a spouse, a home, a legal problem, an overdose, an assault by another addict or dealer. These are all constant threats to the addict, whether they are aware of it or not.
The other thing that can happen is an intervention is done by those who are close to the addict and care about what happens to them. This is often family, but can include friends, co-workers, etc. All concerned come together, hopefully under the guidance of a Professional Interventionist, and review the situation, look for behaviors on their part that enable the addict to continue the drug use and not have to face the consequences of their addiction.
Examples of enabling behaviors are allowing the addict to live at home without paying rent, groceries, etc; covering up for them about missed work or school; helping to care for the addict’s family, protecting them from police such as not charging them when they are violent, bailing them out if they do end up getting themselves in jail, arranging and paying for legal help, accepting them back when they apologize and ask forgiveness, pretending it is just a phase, or just doing nothing. None of these actions are helpful to getting the addict help as they actually have it made under these circumstances. They are supported in their drug use.
While it may seem unkind to so treat someone you love it is really what needs to happen to allow the addict to become responsible for his/her addiction and become willing to accept help and make a change. You don’t have to stop loving anyone or give up on them. You have to learn the difference between enabling and helping.
A Professional Interventionist, with a high success rate of effectively changing the family’s behavior and getting the addict to treatment is recommended when they don’t want help and you can’t wait for them to decide to change. We can help you get an intervention and most drug rehab centers have interventionists they recommend.
Don’t wait and worry and enable and feel guilty. Do something effective, this is the help you need, so give a call.